Never Let You Go
by Cole224
Summary: If Clark could change one thing, what would it have been? Clark/Lex oneshot.


This is set during Hex if Clark had been at Chloe's part and had talked to Zattana first instead of her and during Leech in season one.

I don't own Smallville.

* * *

Clark wasn't sure what happened. One moment, he'd been talking to that girl at Chloe's birthday, the next his vision had darkened. He frowned when his vision came back. His whole body ached for some reason and he looked down at himself.

_"I think I hit you at sixty miles an hour. Then you ripped open my roof, pulled me out, and saved my life. You're the closest I've had to a real friend my whole life. You don't have to hide anything from me."_ Clark's head snapped up at the familiar voice and he stared.

"Lex?" And it was. Lex Luthor, standing in front of him. Clark stared at him before looking around. He was on the farm. He had a tool belt strapped around his hips. "What's going on?" He asked, stepping back from Lex warily.

Maybe he was going crazy because the look on Lex's face, in his eyes was one he wasn't used to anymore, one he hadn't seen in years.

Unexpectedly, he had been grieving since Lex's death. He'd felt guilty for lying to Oliver before but the truth was his morals were not the only reason he could never kill Lex and when Lex died…He couldn't tell Chloe or Oliver this. They wouldn't have understood.

"Clark, are you okay?" Now, there was real concern in Lex's eyes as he frowned at Clark.

"I…" He shook his head and stared back at his house, with the lights on. "I have to go," he said quickly, turning and jogging back to the house, leaving Lex alone and more than likely confused.

For the second time, when he opened the door to his house, he stopped in shock because standing in the kitchen was not only his mom but his dad too.

"Dad!" He couldn't stop himself from walking the short distance across the room and wrapping his arms around his father. He must be really going nuts because this sure felt real.

"You alright, son?" His dad asked as he pulled back.

"Never better," he said, grin in place. He remembered this. The ache in his muscles, what Lex had said. How could he forget this? This was the first time he'd ever felt human, the first time that he'd lost his powers. It had happened more times than it probably should have over the years, each time ending painfully, twice ending with his own death but this was the first.

He wondered through dinner if this could be real, talking to his dad the way he hadn't in a long time. What if this was all in his head, like the mental institution he'd woke up in after a phantom zone escapee had found him.

But this all seemed so real and he did remember this. This had all happened before and there was that girl at Chloe's party…That was what he was thinking about as he went to sleep. The last thing he remembered before opening his eyes and seeing Lex in front of him was talking to that girl at Chloe's birthday.

She'd asked him to make a wish and he hadn't thought anything of it. What if this was real? What if she really had sent him back?

This wasn't about his dad, that was one thing he did know. As hard has it had been, he'd made peace with his dad's death. There was one thing that had been plaguing his mind when he'd been talking to that girl. Lex.

He may have made peace with his dad's death but despite what he'd told Oliver and Chloe, he'd never made peace with how Lex had turned out and he'd always felt guilty about it.

Not that he thought that it was completely his fault but he hadn't been there for Lex, he hadn't been honest with Lex when he'd had the chance. That couldn't have helped.

This time…this was more than just the first time that he'd lost his powers. This was the first time that Lex had ever confronted him about his powers, about what had happened on that bridge.

He missed Lex. Missed the friendship, even if it wasn't always an easy one. A lot of the time, he wished that he would have just told Lex the truth when they first met.

Even though he had people he could talk to now, people he knew, it still didn't make the part of him missing Lex go away.

Sometimes, he wished that Lex had found out years ago. The way that Chloe had, the way that Oliver had. His friendships with the both of them were so…easy and the big part of that was that they knew his secret.

And then there were times when he was glad that he hadn't told Lex because he was afraid that Lex would have gone in the same direction anyway and then what would have happened?

He stayed up all night, unable to sleep, arguing with himself about what he should do if this was all real. He could find a way to get back to his own time…or he could change things…

* * *

Clark went through the motions. He played basketball with Whitney and Pete, once again enjoying himself because it was really good to see Pete again as well. He talked to Lana, feigned interest when Chloe told him about Eric getting her purse from a mugger.

He'd had more than one person ask him if he was okay. They all seemed to know something was wrong but Clark assured them that he was fine. He was preoccupied, too much so, thinking on the decision he had to make.

By the time that Eric showed up at school and started a fight with Brent over Holly, he was pretty sure he'd made a decision.

* * *

He made the decision to get in between Eric and Brent once again. He wasn't looking forward to the bruised ribs that came with that decision but he was afraid of what would happen to Brent if he didn't. Holly had been the reason that Eric had stopped last time and he wondered if she would have gotten in the middle of it if he hadn't provided enough of a distraction for her to get to Brent.

Everything did happen the same. And then, there he was, alone in the hospital hallway with Lex looking at him with remorse in his eyes.  
_  
"Listen, I had no right to questions your honesty. All I can do is plead temporary insanity and hope we can find a way to put this behind us."_ Clark paused, hesitated as he stared at his once best friend. Met Lex's eyes, which did not hold any hint of the darkness that Clark had become used to in the past few years. He sighed.

"We need to talk."

* * *

Clark shifted uncomfortably on Lex's couch, leaning back. Now that he was here, he was hesitating once again. He could admit it, at least to himself. He was afraid. Afraid of how Lex would react.

"Clark, you should be lying down," Lex said, sitting across from him and looking worried. Clark smiled at him, at the worry. Seeing this Lex was making him feel guiltier than ever.

"I'm sorry, Lex," he said after a moment and he really was. He was sorry that they had turned on each other. He was sorry that he hadn't told Lex sooner. He was sorry that they'd lost their friendship, sorry that he had never told Lex how he'd really felt about him.

"Sorry for what?" Clark ran a hand over his face. He felt…tired. Exhausted. If he was going to do this all over, he couldn't do it the way he had last time. He didn't have the energy or desire to lie anymore.

"You were right about me," he said softly.

"What?" Now he looked confused and Clark smiled again.

"You were right. You hit me with your car at sixty miles an hour. I ripped the roof off and pulled you out."

"Clark…"

"The powers that Eric has? Those were mine. Something…happened. I lost them and now he has them and I have to get them back before Eric really hurts someone."

There was a long silence after that and Clark was amused to see that he had, for the first time, truly shocked Lex. He leaned his head back, waiting for Lex to say something. He was nervous but he was also tired.

"Lex?" He asked when he couldn't stand the silence anymore. After a moment, Lex's face cleared and he actually smiled.

"Well, that was unexpected." Clark couldn't help but to smile back at the look in Lex's eyes. There was something shining there that Clark had never seen before, not even when they had been close friends. Lex had always been guarded and he knew it was because of all the lies they had exchanged. At that moment Lex's guard was completely down and he knew for certain, right then, that he had made the right decision.

"You should sleep," Lex said, helping Clark lie down on the couch. He paused, standing over Clark. "Why did you decide to tell me?" Clark sighed and stared up at him, already half asleep.

"I didn't want to lose you again, Lex." Lex frowned at that.

"Why would you lose me?" Clark grinned, though. He knew that he was taking a huge risk with this but if he could keep that darkness out of Lex's eyes then he figured it was worth it.

"I better not this time. You know, I am trusting you with my life here." He caught Lex's smile before his eyes closed and he felt Lex reach down and brush the hair out of his eyes.

"Don't worry, I'll keep it safe."


End file.
